people hold candles, nora (endlesswonder) wrote,
people hold candles, nora

Maybe we could start again

Sanctuary - 3x20, 'Into The Black'

HELEN: You'd really wipe out the last hundred years without so much as a second thought?
JOHN: To be with you? Oh, yes.

I don't blame either of them for anything in particular. I don't blame him for wanting to get back everything he lost, and I don't blame her for lashing out in anger. (Though I do hate that she assumed it was about sex. That was cruel and unjustified.) But oh God, my poor heart. I JUST LOVE THEM SO MUCH.

The bloodlust bit was so perfect, too. I mean, I love Helen to pieces, but she does need shenanigans called from time to time. The fact that John allows her to take advantage of him is no excuse for her doing it.

(Helen darling, if you didn't care, then you wouldn't have tried to stop him from electrocuting himself to save the human race. No judgment. I'm just sayin'.)

Amanda, congratulations on your face and your legs and your everything. As always.

"You can't blame me for the dream, Helen." HE'S TRYING TO KILL ME, I KNOW HE IS. I'm not sure if I mean John or Chris. Probably both.

I'm not a supporter of John's Grand Plan. At all. But as the President, Secretary and Treasurer of the Montague John Druitt Fan Club, let me just say this. I truly believe that, in his wrongheaded, lovesick way, he thought he was doing the right thing. Not just for himself, but for both of them. He's never gotten over his image of the perfect life they would have had, getting married and raising children and living out their lives together in blissful happiness. He's so desperate to save her from everything bad that's ever happened to her, because he blames himself for pretty much all of it, and what better way to do that than by hitting the Reset button so that none of the bad things ever happened at all? It's his deluded way of protecting her, because it's really the only way he can at this point, and it's all he's ever wanted to do. Not in a repressed Victorian housewife kind of way, because he's never wanted that for her - he fell in love with her precisely because she wasn't like all the other girls - but in a way that doesn't have her chasing down the world's most dangerous creatures and staring down the barrels of guns and constantly making him terrified for her safety. He might love her for her independence, but he's still a product of his time. It was much easier for him to deal when she was blazing trails at the forefront of human discovery from the safe confines of the Oxford science labs. And maybe she was fine with that, too, when that was all she knew. But there's so much more to her now. He sees this as his chance to avoid his past mistakes and give her the life he believes she wishes she'd led. When really, in so many ways, the life she's had is exactly the life she wanted to lead. But he can't see that, because he's got the tunnel vision. He's not known for his ability to see things from other people's points of view. He made his deal with Adam without giving any thought at all to Ashley or the Sanctuary or the world at large, all the things that would be irrevocably changed or vanished from existence altogether by his actions. Helen is the centre of his universe; everything else is a secondary consideration and will be forfeit if necessary. She's the only thing that's ever made him happy, but he forgets that he's never been the only thing that made her happy. He forgets how long it's been since they've both wanted the same things. He forgets how far she's moved on from where they started. Because he hasn't moved on at all. And because sometimes, when she looks into his eyes, she forgets, too. I'm not saying any of this makes it okay. (Or even makes sense, FFS.) Just that maybe it makes it a little less bad.

(To answer what seems to be the $64,000 question in relation to this issue: do I believe it was an act of love? Not as you and I would perceive it, no. But as John would perceive it? Absolutely. Because he's special. And by special, I mean psychotic. He's batshit crazy, but I love him anyway, and I'm with him whatever happens. I CANNOT OPERATE OUTSIDE THIS FRAME OF REFERENCE.)

Seriously, though. WHAT. JUST. HAPPENED.

I really want to talk about "Normandy", too, but every time I try to type something, all that comes out is AKLFJADS;KLJADFSLKJDSAGLKJADGS. (And a really lazy picspam because OMG THAT SCENE WAS EVERYTHING.) Maybe after I've watched it again. And again and again and then some more again.



(I should probably apologise in advance for the Reblog!Palooza that's about to hit Tumblr now that I'm finally safe from spoilers. But, um, I'm not sorry? )
Tags: tv: sanctuary

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