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30 August 2011 @ 10:19 am
Maybe we could start again  
Sanctuary - 3x20, 'Into The Black'

HELEN: You'd really wipe out the last hundred years without so much as a second thought?
JOHN: To be with you? Oh, yes.

I don't blame either of them for anything in particular. I don't blame him for wanting to get back everything he lost, and I don't blame her for lashing out in anger. (Though I do hate that she assumed it was about sex. That was cruel and unjustified.) But oh God, my poor heart. I JUST LOVE THEM SO MUCH.

The bloodlust bit was so perfect, too. I mean, I love Helen to pieces, but she does need shenanigans called from time to time. The fact that John allows her to take advantage of him is no excuse for her doing it.

(Helen darling, if you didn't care, then you wouldn't have tried to stop him from electrocuting himself to save the human race. No judgment. I'm just sayin'.)

Amanda, congratulations on your face and your legs and your everything. As always.

"You can't blame me for the dream, Helen." HE'S TRYING TO KILL ME, I KNOW HE IS. I'm not sure if I mean John or Chris. Probably both.

I'm not a supporter of John's Grand Plan. At all. But as the President, Secretary and Treasurer of the Montague John Druitt Fan Club, let me just say this. I truly believe that, in his wrongheaded, lovesick way, he thought he was doing the right thing. Not just for himself, but for both of them. He's never gotten over his image of the perfect life they would have had, getting married and raising children and living out their lives together in blissful happiness. He's so desperate to save her from everything bad that's ever happened to her, because he blames himself for pretty much all of it, and what better way to do that than by hitting the Reset button so that none of the bad things ever happened at all? It's his deluded way of protecting her, because it's really the only way he can at this point, and it's all he's ever wanted to do. Not in a repressed Victorian housewife kind of way, because he's never wanted that for her - he fell in love with her precisely because she wasn't like all the other girls - but in a way that doesn't have her chasing down the world's most dangerous creatures and staring down the barrels of guns and constantly making him terrified for her safety. He might love her for her independence, but he's still a product of his time. It was much easier for him to deal when she was blazing trails at the forefront of human discovery from the safe confines of the Oxford science labs. And maybe she was fine with that, too, when that was all she knew. But there's so much more to her now. He sees this as his chance to avoid his past mistakes and give her the life he believes she wishes she'd led. When really, in so many ways, the life she's had is exactly the life she wanted to lead. But he can't see that, because he's got the tunnel vision. He's not known for his ability to see things from other people's points of view. He made his deal with Adam without giving any thought at all to Ashley or the Sanctuary or the world at large, all the things that would be irrevocably changed or vanished from existence altogether by his actions. Helen is the centre of his universe; everything else is a secondary consideration and will be forfeit if necessary. She's the only thing that's ever made him happy, but he forgets that he's never been the only thing that made her happy. He forgets how long it's been since they've both wanted the same things. He forgets how far she's moved on from where they started. Because he hasn't moved on at all. And because sometimes, when she looks into his eyes, she forgets, too. I'm not saying any of this makes it okay. (Or even makes sense, FFS.) Just that maybe it makes it a little less bad.

(To answer what seems to be the $64,000 question in relation to this issue: do I believe it was an act of love? Not as you and I would perceive it, no. But as John would perceive it? Absolutely. Because he's special. And by special, I mean psychotic. He's batshit crazy, but I love him anyway, and I'm with him whatever happens. I CANNOT OPERATE OUTSIDE THIS FRAME OF REFERENCE.)

Seriously, though. WHAT. JUST. HAPPENED.

I really want to talk about "Normandy", too, but every time I try to type something, all that comes out is AKLFJADS;KLJADFSLKJDSAGLKJADGS. (And a really lazy picspam because OMG THAT SCENE WAS EVERYTHING.) Maybe after I've watched it again. And again and again and then some more again.



(I should probably apologise in advance for the Reblog!Palooza that's about to hit Tumblr now that I'm finally safe from spoilers. But, um, I'm not sorry? )
Current Location: Hollow Earth
Current Mood: crushedcrushed
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people hold candles, nora: tv | s | j/h 3endlesswonder on August 30th, 2011 12:46 am (UTC)
Yay! As usual, I had to read a few other people's opinions (including yours, because I went and found them :D) before I could come up with the words to express my own, so I'm glad it all made sense to someone other than me.

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people hold candles, nora: p | atendlesswonder on August 30th, 2011 12:53 am (UTC)
ALL THE THINGS THAT YOU JUST SAID IN THAT LAST LINK. YES. This is why I hardly ever say the things. Because people like you have already said them so much more eloquently than I could ever dream of doing.

Even though I reeeeeeeeeeally loved it, and my overriding reaction was one of "LOOK AT ALL THE ANGSTY PRETTY SOMEBODY HOLD ME", certain aspects of it still left me with a bad taste in my mouth (on top of the one I already had from Helen's "I married a man I hate" in "Out Of The Blue"), and you just captured them all so beautifully right there.

Edited at 2011-08-30 12:55 am (UTC)
aletheia08: Catherine Tate You have a pointaletheia08 on August 30th, 2011 12:22 pm (UTC)
I SECOND THIS: ALL THE THINGS THAT YOU JUST SAID IN THAT LAST LINK. YES. I feel like I should quote Bad Blood at this point: "What she said, that's what I'm thinking" ;)
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people hold candles, nora: p | c/aendlesswonder on August 30th, 2011 12:57 am (UTC)
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people hold candles, nora: tv | s | jendlesswonder on August 30th, 2011 01:01 am (UTC)
Huzzah! I will! Because I can! I can read all of the fic and reblog all of the Tumblr posts and geek out all over the internet without having to worry about anything. SWEET FREEDOM.
aletheia08: Sanctuary H/J Spooningaletheia08 on August 30th, 2011 11:55 am (UTC)
OH YOU HAVE SEEN IT! I will gladly take the blame btw or any complaints because I love what you just wrote. It made me feel just a tiny little bit better about the whole thing. Because I was really pissed off after seeing the episode. So, yeah, a little bit less pissed off now but still heartbroken because WHY DO THEY HAVE TO HURT US LIKE THAT? WITH THEIR PERFECT FACES AND THEIR ANGST AND THEIR LOVE? WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY??


Don't be sorry for your reblog!palooza, I always love them ;)
people hold candles, nora: tv | s | j/hendlesswonder on August 30th, 2011 01:23 pm (UTC)
I have! Heee, I didn't really think you'd mind. Even though my thoughts are a little...fixated. But I would give my last breath defending John, so I had to get all that out. Glad I could make you feel a little bit better. :)

I agree so much with the thoughts in your post, too. Helen did overreact, but like most people as far as I can tell from what I've read, I figure it's a hangover from what she'd just been through in "Out Of The Blue". She's not in a happy place, and John's easy to take it out on. And hey, she's got a right to be mad. I know I would be. But it's like we both said, right? Her words say one thing, but her actions say something very different. IT'S SO NOT OVER.

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people hold candles, nora: p | at2endlesswonder on September 7th, 2011 03:03 pm (UTC)
I don't think you did! I shall investigate! :D

(Did I tell you that that "Take It Off" vid you linked me to a while back was basically the best thing ever? Or, at least, the best thing since that Star Trek one that someone did for "Tik Tok"?)
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people hold candles, nora: tv | s | hendlesswonder on September 7th, 2011 03:07 pm (UTC)
Sweet! Off to find that now, too! You = Best. Enabler. EVER.