All of my thoughts are about Ruth's face. All of them. Her face when Harry asked for her help with Elena. The way she kept it together when all she wanted to do was punch him in the throat. (Or maybe that was just me, I'm not sure.) Her face when Elena asked her about Harry's feelings for her. Oh my God, the sheer emotional torture she was putting herself through to hold in all the things she wanted to say. Her face when she was talking to the Home Secretary, about George and Nico, about Harry, about her life. "I know this is an odd thing to complain about in my line of work, but I'm sick of secrets. They stop you ever knowing people. Everyone ends up feeling alone." Everything is Evershed and nothing hurts, basically. I am only vaguely aware that other things happened in this episode.

YOU GUYS. I HAVE BEEN BRUTALLY MURDERED BY THE SANCTUARY 4x01 SNEAK PEEK. THE 4x01 SNEAK PEEK HAS TURNED ME INTO A CANOE.

WHAT JUST HAPPENED. I MEAN, SERIOUSLY. WHAT. THE. FUCK. JUST. HAPPENED. LIKE, APART FROM THE OBVIOUS ADFKLJDASG;LKJAGSKLADFSKLJLAADSFAG TRYING TO KILL EACH OTHER IN THE MISTY RAIN BUSINESS. THAT THING. ON THE ROOF. JACK. I SWEAR I'M NOT LYING, WHEN THEY SHOWED IT OUT OF CONTEXT IN ONE OF THE PREVIEWS, MY FIRST THOUGHT WAS THAT IT HAD SOMETHING TO DO WITH JOHN. MAYBE BECAUSE IT'S BALD? IDEK. BUT I DIDN'T THINK ABOUT IT BEYOND THAT AND NOW I HAVE NO IDEA HOW TO PROCESS THIS NEW INFORMATION. LIKE, IS THAT ACTUALLY JOHN? OR IS IT SOME SORT OF PHYSICAL MANIFESTATION OF THE ENERGY CREATURE INSIDE JOHN? I WAS THINKING THAT IF IT'S THE LATTER, AND HELEN COULD KILL IT, THEN THAT WOULD FIX EVERYTHING. BUT THEN I WAS THINKING THAT THAT WOULD FUCK WITH THE TIMELINE A LOT MORE THAN HELEN IS PROBABLY COMFORTABLE WITH, AND PLUS WHO KNOWS WHAT SORT OF EFFECT THAT WOULD HAVE ON FUTURE!JOHN. AND NOW I'M THINKING THAT I SHOULD JUST CURL UP IN A BALL IN THE CORNER AND ROCK BACK AND FORTH FOR A WHILE. THAT'S A LEGITIMATE PLAN.

Still trying to decide if I regret watching it or not. Leaning towards not. ACCIO FRIDAY.